Academics

All your children will be taught of the Lord
and great will be their peace.
—Isaiah 54:13

On a scale of one to ten, how do you and your family rate the importance of academics? How much time does your child spend engaged in schoolwork including homework each week? Do they feel pressure from school, from you, and from their peers about doing well? Would you object if they did not go to college?

Children need downtime for things they love like sports, theater, working out, hunting, fishing, video games, and more. Life cannot be all about education. As multi-dimensional individuals, we need to nurture their physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and mental beings.

Consider whether or not you place an inordinate amount of pressure solely on academics. Does a focus on academics leave no room in your child’s day or life for much else? Do their passions, interests, and even church go by the wayside because of too much schoolwork? Only you know that answer.

Do you dare ask your teenager/young adult how they feel about their workload at school? Do you think they will respond, “Too much work!” I challenge you to ask yourself the same question. Do you think your child’s school workload requires too much work? How does your child’s schoolwork impact him in terms of rest, extracurricular activities, and friendships? Can he keep up? What about the importance of family time? How does he feel about it?

My children grew up in an affluent area that assigned a lot of weight on education. In my observation, that type of culture places the utmost importance on the god of academics. It seemed as though their future success required; they attend college.

The push toward college, college, college can be a little nauseating. But other options do exist.

Wise parents step back and ask themselves; do we unconsciously give off a certain type of vibe about academics, friendships, or even church? I am not sure we even realize what we are doing, but I do believe we send pressurized signals. And the underlying message might not be a good one, because for parents, considering another path could be scary. You may want to ask your kids if they have felt this from you—you know—that pressuring vibe.

Sometimes, we feel anxious about how others perceive us if our child doesn’t follow the direction most everyone else follows. But what if? What if they want to pursue an avenue independent from most others, and it turns out to be a tremendous learning and growth experience? Is it possible you might pressure your child to head in a direction or pathway that reflects your plan or dream and not necessarily God’s?

The answer to those questions is between you and God. He is a jealous God who desires a growing and intimate relationship with us and our teenager/young adult. When we worship the god of academics (aware or unaware) instead of the living God, we, and our children, miss out on a great adventure.

An important lesson I learned was to be diligent in my prayers as I homeschooled my children (from Pre-K through seventh). It was crucial that I ask God what their education should look like for the coming year. I did my best to remain open to His leading, whether it was homeschooling, returning to private or public school, or choosing an online program. He made it clear every time. And it was different for each child.

As my children became teens, their opinions were included in the decision-making process, giving them a voice. Our discussion included their thoughts, opinions, and desires. 

Ultimately, my husband Frank and I made the final decision; but we believe God led us by the Holy Spirit to the best outcomes, after we demonstrated respect to our teens.

My encouragement for you is to ASK (ask, seek, knock). Don’t be afraid to ask the Lord, what do you want for my/our child this year? Please don’t assume you know what is best. Ask the Father. Lean into Abba and listen for His answers. You just might be surprised by what you hear.

One of my children completed two years of college and decided it was not for him. He moved on to become a real estate agent. My other child had no desire to attend college. She moved to New York City at the age of eighteen to attend the acting conservatory of her dreams. These were big adjustments to the dreams my husband and I had for our kids.

We were able to make this shift because we desired God’s plans for our children, not ours. He continues writing each of their stories. My version of their lives would have looked a lot different; but we chose to trust God, even when things veered from what we planned. 

Asking God to define success in His economy may cause you to move your priorities in surprising ways. At the very least, your relationship with your child will certainly benefit from the consultation.”

In what ways is God big enough to help your teenager/young adult figure out her path? Have you considered how you might be getting in God’s way?

What if you created opportunities in your child’s High School years, to not only visit colleges, but she could spend time with people from different industries and professions to explore all options?

For more info or other encouraging blogs, you can connect with Patti @ www.pattireed.net or join her weekly email list here: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/su/90w3aHN